yep, I don't understand kid's television either

We don't have any television, but we've got DVDs. I too wonder why Dora's head is so much bigger than Diego's.

my angry face

DAD: Son, please clear the dishes off of the table.

(long silence, no dishes moving)

DAD: Son, what are you doing?

SON: Practicing my angry face.

yahoo!

Welcome Samuel Goldstone!

reality

Ok, so I'm very sarcastic on this blog. It is all meant in humour.
It has been 7 months now as a stay-at-home dad and I have no plans
to change it. My kids are great and my family is doing better than
ever before.

rest in peace Lion King

Raynham just learned the difficult lesson that if you sneak off and
tear open the Lion King VHS tape, you'll never be able to see it
again. The Lion King is dead. Long Live the Lion King!

P.S. Thank god. Now I never have to watch the damn thing again.

Joanna's son loves her

Upon seeing heavy snow coming down on Friday afternoon, Galen
exclaims "It is a blizzard! Now there will be lots of snow to go
sledding with Mom tomorrow!"

file under: what?

Now Raynham is having her baby doll throw up in the toilet. Such a
lovely noise to accompany our breakfast.

not to be seen in my house anytime soon

Dude, my children are already labouring under the impression that I'm their servant. Why in hell would I become their packmule? It comes with kneepads too. Those could come in handy. Like when I'm on my knees crying out: Let daddy drink his freakin coffee!

ice storm

Honestly, I don't think a lousy ice storm, unreliable roads,
hazardous sidewalks, and a general city shutdown is reason enough for
my children's schools to close. My sanity is much more important
than their safety, isn't it? Instead of having a nice quiet coffee,
I'm playing with play-dough. There is no justice in this world.
Bring back traditional boarding schools for toddlers and 5 year-
olds. Somewhere east of Montreal would be fine. They could visit
every third weekend. Either that or re-open the mines and ammunition
factories. My children need something to do!

wallaby poem #32

Is that your wallaby in the ambulance?
What happened to the litter feller?
Oh, he cut down a tree and it fell on its head?
I wouldn't worry, I don't think your wallaby is dead.

spat with the cat

No, we don't have a cat. We have a toy cat. A toy cat who
apparently steals Raynham's art bib. Much yelling ensues, bib torn
away from cat and throw across room. An then a very angry two-year
old pointedly sitting away from the cat giving it the silent
treatment for 15 minutes when not complaining about it to her
father. So angry she won't consider eating lunch until dad
negotiates a cease fire and extracts an apology from the plastic
kitty. I'm not sure if the cat was really sincere but it was enough
for Raynham to set aside her anger and eat lunch. You would think
things are over at this point, but no. We finish lunch, read books,
and then I'm carrying her to her nap when she distinctly sticks out
her tongue and fires off a raspberry at the cat as we pass. Both
children are now napping and I'm left consoling a desolate plastic
cat. This stay-at-home thing is getting too surreal for me.

best description of my son

Right from a teacher at my son's school: elementary children are "age-
demented". Tell me about it.

stupid

Can i say that the Scooby Doo books that my son is bringing home from
school are incredibly stupid?

Red Tigers face their first loss

Yep, the winning streak is over. Galen's hockey team lost 6-3, but
Galen won all of his face offs. Of course, we should have know this
was going to happen when playing a team called the "Coronation
Cheating Bastards".

from the mouths of babes

DRY CLEANER: Hi kids, how are you.

GALEN: I don't have any school work today.

DRY CLEANER: You have school this week?

GALEN: No, we are still on holidays. But mom had to got to work this
week. So Dad is with us this week. Well, he was with us last week too.

(thoughtful pause)

GALEN: Dad doesn't have a job. That's why we don't have any money.

DRY CLEANER (looking uncomfortable): Oh.

xmas crack

Christmas is like crack for children. Can someone please take them
away until it wears off?